I have sat on my ass for a very long time because of the job.  I know that I cannot keep up with someone that is actually in shape.  Does this bother me?  Absolutely not at the present time.  The reason behind this is that I do push myself to get things done and I’m doing more than most people.

Not only am I gaining strength and endurance right now.  I am gaining knowledge and skills that will prove useful in the future.  I believe that getting both at the same time is a wonderful way to live currently.  Now let’s see how much I can pack into a weekend and attempt to have a social life on top of that.

Now it’s time to figure out the next stage of building in the room for storage and organization.  So now that I have saw horses I can build my shelves.  That was the goal of this weekend.  Build my damn selves.

Here’s the stupidity pictures.  I also have to say hand tools are awesome but suck due to the amount of pain I feel right now.

Hopefully soon I’ll get to those pallets and what they can be used for other than bon fires.

It was a cold morning so we figured we might as well take a look at the possible bounty on the side of the road.  After looking at it for a moment it was decided to toss the deer into the bed of my pick up and take it home.

Yes, these pictures are graphic but I don’t give a fuck, it’s my page and the venison has been very tasty since then.  Really lucked out with this find as all it had was a broken neck and was probably 12 hours old or less.

I have to start off with my dog, my bad:

Forgot to buy a shower curtain, guess what we did instead with the extra one?

My friend and coconspirator smoking a cuban on night number one of living here:

Ooops, accidentally set my hand on fire with a giant USMC lighter:

The important things to build what we need:

Quick view of my room, I mentioned no furniture right?

Guess what my sleeping pad is

My trash can, cheap as hell

General storage of things like ammo, camping gear, cables and anything else that could fit into these

Laundry hamper:

guess the rifles before I build my new gun rack for the room

I’ll take some out door pictures tomorrow before we start working on my truck to get it running again so there will be before and after pictures.

HowManyOfMe.com

There are people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Thought this was pretty interesting.

I make changes.  I go where I feel that I need to be.  Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be doing me a damn bit of good at the present time.  I honestly just have no clue what to do anymore.  I know my end goals, yet getting there is such a pain in the ass that I have trouble pushing forward through the mundane in order to get there.

On my last serious break up, I pretty much just shrugged my shoulders and said fuck it.  Paths were going in different cardinal directions and I had to do what was best for me at that point in time.  Long run it probably was a retard move but can’t dwell on that too much.  I did the same with my previous job at Logitech.  It would have been great to keep that job but I honestly couldn’t hack it anymore.  I just lost the will for it.  It seems I’ve really lost the will for my career.

I’m lost and stranded.  I’m in mostly a sea of strangers.  I have friends, but most of my communications with them are through texts or instant messages.  I’ve become a recluse.  Going out seems like a chore for me.  I don’t really know how to get out of that funk.  So many average people you meet when out and about just drive me insane.

I know where I want to be in a decade or so.  I know what I have to do in order to get there.  The question is can I force myself through a well paying 40 hour a week job to get there?  I take a job within the career and I end up with 60+ hour work weeks, leaving me very little time to take care of my own self.  I can do the things I want but I’m usually too burned out to actually accomplish something for myself.  I find that this is the worst part of the career I ended up on.

I’ve recently gotten a possible opportunity, to move yet again, for a job.  This one is just a maintenance position.  Take over the admin duties of a linux admin job for the Fed Govt again.  Something that I don’t have to really think about.  Easy day to day tasks.  Hopefully a good salary.  Down side is it happens to be in a state I’ve never lived in.  One that I’ve always given shit for being that state.  One that does bring back memories of visiting.

Normally I’d just say fuck it and go.  Yet this time I’m not completely certain.  It’d probably be the toughest move I’ve ever had to deal with.  Having to dodge certain people that live there.  Having to make a completely new group of friends from scratch.

Then there’s the part of me that says “you have Daffy, you can survive and make life good for both of you.”  I have no clue what I would do without my dog anymore.  My true friend that is always there and gives puppy kisses lovingly.

The duck breast I bought. Used peking because it had the highest fat at the butcher at the time.

Secret blend of hidden spices. It’s a slight deviation of my generic bbq rub. I did add some cumin to give this prosciutto a hispanic flavor.

Let’s salt this bitch!

Gotta bag it up, squeeze out all the air.

Now it’s gonna sit in my fridge for a few days.

I’ll update as soon as I pull it out. Next step is to rinse off with cold water, reapply rub, cover in cheese cloth and then let air dry for a week or so.

Since I’m such a Lovecraft fanatic why not use that for the basic idea? Since I’m also a huge fan of ambient, minimal and noise I can slowly build it up throughout the show until at the end the people in the crowd can dance as I switch from my music to DJing other music.

I was talking to Nelly yesterday and she gave me the final idea. I still have that unfinished lsd song that I screwed around with. As the performance goes on it can be inferred that this is really a Lovecraftian acid trip gone very bad. You can watch as the main “character” goes from the start of hell to the point that they understand that nothing is really real and need to start enjoying themselves.

So far it’s just in the basics stage and I really need to start writing the full ideas out along with a time line to see how much music I need to write and the sort of weird shit the performers can do along with it. I also need to reread a bunch of Lovecraft to brush up on the whole mythos and the sensations I wish convey.

Once 9am hits everything I need to be open will be. Post office, bank, hard ware store and I’m sure there will be more to do.

Living back in the barrio is great. This is definitely a poorer working class hood. Everyone I’ve run into has been very nice and friendly. There’s a very odd thing about here. You can walk down a block and see some really well taken care of properties then just an abandoned one that is falling apart in the middle of where you wouldn’t think to see it.

Just like my move to San Francisco pretty much started in a warehouse and living with a clown the same situation is happening here. My new spot is a warehouse space but so much nicer than 212 Clara. I’m also living with the same clown. Everything in the place is slowly coming together and I’m sure in a few months this will be a very sweet spot to live inside.